Seeking and Finding
Rediscovering Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas
Jesus says, “If you are searching, you must not stop until you find. When you find, however, you will become troubled. Your confusion will give way to wonder. In wonder, you will reign over all things. Your sovereignty will be your rest.” - The Gospel of Thomas, Logion 2 (Lynn Baumann translation)
The Gospel of Thomas was among the cache of 52 ancient texts found in Egypt in 1945. A local farmer discovered a sealed jar containing 13 leather-bound papyrus codices, near the city of Nag Hammadi; thus, the collection is known as the Nag Hammadi Library. It is thought that these texts may have been from the library of the monastery founded by Saint Pachomius circa 320 CE. They are now located at the Coptic Museum in Cairo.
An English translation of the entire corpus of the Nag Hammadi Library was not completed until 1977, and it is only in the last 40 years that The Gospel of Thomas has become widely known. Thomas contains 114 sayings attributed to Jesus, but its initial reception within Christian communities was hampered, in part, by two misconceptions about this text.
The first misconception is that it is a much later, and, therefore, less reliable, text. The Coptic text of Thomas found at Nag Hammadi is dated from the late 2nd/early 3rd Century, but based on textual and linguistic analysis it is thought to be a translation of an earlier Syriac text that is based on oral traditions from as early as the mid-1st Century. In short, Thomas reflects an oral tradition as ancient as anything contained in the canonical gospels. In fact, about two-thirds of the sayings in Thomas are found in the canonical gospels.
The second misconception is that Thomas is a gnostic gospel and is, therefore, a heretical text. This is, in part, due to the fact that The Nag Hammadi Library contains many texts that clearly reflect gnostic teachings that conflicted with what became Christian Orthodoxy. But it also contains texts from the Corpus Hermeticum and a partial translation of Plato’s Republic. We cannot assume that Thomas is a gnostic text simply by association. It deserves to be interpreted on its own merits, and there is much scholarly debate about whether Thomas is “gnostic” – it certainly lacks the cosmological superstructure found in gnostic texts.
Thomas is different. Unlike the canonical gospels, it contains no narrative elements; it doesn’t tell the story of Jesus. The focus is entirely on Jesus’ teaching, and even the familiar sayings shared with the canonical gospels appear enigmatic in the context of Thomas. This is especially true of the sayings unique to Thomas, such as the one quoted above. What we have here are a collection of koans, focused on challenging the student’s way of seeing the world; inviting an inner awakening of the student that shifts her or his perception of reality.
Thomas brings Jesus’ role as a teacher of the transformation of consciousness, what he called, metanoia, into focus. This is often translated as “repentance,” but it really means to change your mind, or to transcend your mind. Jesus’ teaching is meant to blow your mind, and this is made clear in the sayings found in Thomas.
Login 2 (login just means “saying”) expresses this quality well. It resonates with the experience of many spiritual seekers. They suspect that there is something more than the settled certainties of the religious establishment. The churches give people “second-hand” religion, as Marcus Borg called it, when what they are searching for is “first-hand” religion.
This is true even for those of us who have found much comfort and support in second-hand religion. At some point, the heart begins to yearn for a deeper level of transformation, attuned to a different spiritual bandwidth. Cynthia Bourgeault uses the example of a boxed plant whose growth is stunted. It needs to be transplanted in a bigger box so that it can grow again. The Christian box that we received has become too small for many of us. We need a bigger box. We are ready for metanoia.
This saying of Jesus in Thomas outlines a simple but profound process for the transformation of consciousness. Let’s break it down a bit.
If you are searching, you must not stop until you find. Jesus is speaking in the imperative. You must not stop until you find! We are exhorted to be persistent in our search for meaning and purpose. Implicit is the assumption that the search will not be easy, but that it is worth the effort. Here, it is important to underscore, “effort.” We must walk the path. No one can do it for us.
When you find, however, you will become troubled. This is where metanoia really begins. The moment – or process – during which we begin to question received wisdom and the identity that we have internalized from others. We doubt. We don’t know what to believe. We reevaluate everything. This is a challenging and confusing experience. Those who have come from especially repressive religious backgrounds will identify with the disorientation of searching and finding something quite different than what we were told to expect.
Your confusion will give way to wonder. As metanoia unfolds, the awakened heart perceives the wonder of being alive. What we find is not certainty, but a certain kind of aliveness. We recognize that we are comprehended by One whom we cannot comprehend. We are part of something much larger, more creative, and more beautiful than we can imagine. We are stretched out by awe. The awakened heart knows that it is known by that which it cannot know. It is consciousness itself, that we are aware, not the content of awareness, that opens us to a larger dimension of reality. We begin to see as God sees.
In wonder, you will reign over all things. This is about the attainment of freedom. We are no longer determined by the messages we’ve internalized, the harms we’ve suffered or caused. All the things that use to reign over us, pushing our buttons, lose their grip on us. We identify with our Christ-nature, that which is of God, rather than our isolated ego-self. We realize the awesome enormity of reality, and can hold our place within the expansive field of belonging with dignity and power. Being free from all, we can become servant of all.
Your sovereignty will be your rest. When we claim our sovereignty, all the compulsions and obsessions dissipate. We are no longer driven. We act rather than react, in an increasingly effortless manner. This is not about escaping from the world, but rather being at home in it with grace and power.
Jesus provides us with a very fulsome picture of what metanoia, the transfigured consciousness, the awakened heart, looks like. When we wake up, we discover that we are in the realm of God. This waking-up is the pearl of great price, the one thing necessary. If you are searching, you must not stop until you find it.
There is something providential about the rediscovery of Thomas in the closing days of the Second World War. Its arrival on the brink of a new axial age, when we are summoned to make a leap in the evolution of human consciousness for the sake of the healing of the earth, could not be timelier. It may allow us to see and hear Jesus again, just when we most need the message he brings.